Being a doula, I'm constantly connecting with, learning from, and talking to other doulas. Listening to stories, sharing insight, being a shoulder to cry on, etc. But recently, I had my first encounter with a troll.....*duh duh duhhhhhh* Now I know what you're thinking... "Why didn't you just scroll past?" and my answer is because it hit home.
So this woman (who is not a doula herself) shared her birth story with a international Facebook group for doulas. She had a doula present at the birth of her first child but she unfortunately did not have her ideal birth. She was writing in this group about how she shouldn't had hired a childless doula, a young doula. How this young and childless doula made her birth experience so horrible. She labeled this woman as incompetent, ignorant, and uneducated. This makes my blood boil. So let me explain to you why.
I am young and I have no children of my own. This does not change my ability to support families. This does not limit my resources. This does not effect the way I provide my services. If I meet with a mom, and have a connection with her, my age will not matter. The connection I have with someone will be based off of compatible, harmonious, and good vibes. It's not forced, conversation comes easy, and the oxytocin is flowing in the room. Trust the vibes you get, the energy won't lie. A good connection is what will make or break an experience with a doula, not age or personal birthing experience. Just because I have not given birth to my own little one, that does not mean that I am incapable to support you with yours. I am loving, I am nurturing, I am capable. That's why I chose this field. I was trained through DONA international to get the best training to be able to bring as much to that birthing room as possible. Women are not meant to be alone during birth. Women are supposed to be supported by other women. Being young and childless does not change that. I have so much respect for young women who fall in love with this work, just as I have. In fact, we should support young women who fall in love with birth work early. We need more strong willed and educated women who are willing to devote their time to expecting families.
So as you can see, it really hits home for me. I do not deserve to be underestimated. I am a doula who is passionate about helping women and their families in this beautiful transition to motherhood. I will do everything I possibly can to bring love and light to your birth. I will hold you, nurture you, support you, enlighten you, and guide you. It is my duty and a trained doula to provide physical, emotional, spiritual, and informational support to give you the best possible outcome. Please do not label me as something that I am not. I am young and childless woman, but I am also an outstanding doula. I do not doubt myself, and you should not doubt me either.
xLove and Light Always,